Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Vicious Lie: Feminists Hate Sex



If I had a condom for every time I heard a man reply with "she just needs a man to fuck her" or some other variation of that statement in response to a woman raising concerns over sexism, I'd have enough prophylactics to supply every prominent heterosexual woman feminist in the country, whom I guarantee are having far more sexy times than their misogynistic critics.

The myth among sexist assholes (most of whom are men) is that women who identify as feminists must hate sex as much as they hate men, and neither, of course, is true.

As for lesbian feminists, the critique is only compounded. They certainly hate men since they refuse to have sex with them.

And the antidote to this radical notion that women should be equal? Just fuck them. All they need is to get laid by these men who have all the answers, none of which seem to be strung together with words consisting of more than three syllables.

Of course, one of the biggest factors in the formation of this brilliant reply to feminism is the effect of raising awareness on rape and sexual assault in the United States.

1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. On every college campus with more than 6,000 undergrad students, the Department of Justice estimates that a rape occurs, every day.

Just this week, Sen. Claire McCaskill raked military leaders over the coals after a general overturned a guilty verdict of a colonel accused of sexual assault. He was found guilty by a jury of his peers and sentenced for the crime, but with the flick of a pen, his senior officer made it all go away.

Women in this country (and well, most of the world) have the very real fear of being assaulted at any time: work, school, public transportation, anywhere.

And when they are assaulted, they're blamed for drinking alcohol or what they wore or if they flirted with someone but declined to go further. Hell, they're blamed for walking alone at night.

When feminists advocate on this issue, the reply of many men is that feminists just hate sex. I mean, who wouldn't want to be forcibly raped, right?!

I really thought of somehow defending the belief that feminists enjoy sex (with whomever, including men), but it occurred to me that even the notion of having to emphasize that is ridiculous.

I shouldn't have to pull out some Gloria Steinem quotation in praise of sex to persuade sexist idiots that women enjoy intimacy, that feminists can be dedicated to gender equality and love being intimate with men.

The argument here is very simple: feminism is about individual freedom. That's freedom of choice, of thought, of expression, of opportunity, of emotion, of every human characteristic and endeavor that men enjoy without criticism.

It means freedom to engage in sex on one's own terms, whatever they may be. It means freedom of consent and freedom of participating in (or abstaining from) erotic activities that aren't exploitative or degrading. It means freedom from being sexually harassed, including catcalls, groping, suggestive remarks, etc.

It means freedom from being defined by sex, especially in the professional world.

It means freedom for a woman to have as much sex as she wants without being labelled a "slut" and the freedom to have as little sex as she desires without being labelled a "frigid bitch".

It means the freedom to simply say "no" and have that be respected.

Women love sex, but they don't like being property. (gasp)

What is so difficult to understand about that? Why do we constantly marginalize women for simply wanting equality?

I also guess I could pull out some line like "if you treat women like human beings, you'll find yourself getting far more sex and intimacy". And that's true, but it shouldn't need a role in this conversation. Women's freedom should not hinge on the sexual interests and fulfillment of men.

So, let's cut the bullshit, already. Stop lying. Stop making excuses.

Stop dismissing feminists with dumbass speculation on their sex lives. It makes you look moronic.


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